Another Reason They Call It "Dope"


In case you wanted another reason not to use drugs, here it is: You don’t know where the drugs have been.

A woman got brought into the emergency department in police custody. She was intoxicated and complaining of pain to her ankle and hip. The story we were given was that she jumped out the window of a house that was being raided by police and injured her ankle and hip in the jump. Following the trauma protocol we did the Airway/Breathing/Circulation/Disability/Exposure routine.

As the patient was being undressed, the nurse noted a piece of newspaper sticking out of the crotch of the woman’s underwear. A little more investigation determined that there was a wad of newspaper stuck into a place where I’m guessing that not many police officers frisk.

When the newspaper was removed, multiple little rocks of white material that appeared to be crack cocaine dropped onto the bed.

“What’s that?” The woman asked. “Whatever it is, it isn’t mine. I just stuffed some newspaper up there because I thought I was starting my period.”


Glad I wasn’t working in the police evidence room that day.


  1. DensityDuck on

    I must have been vacuuming the blinds in my renter’s room while nude and I slipped and fell onto his desk, which is how the crack got in my butt and the vacuum affixed itself to my junk.

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