Bad Idea


A patient came into the hospital after being bitten several times on the hand by a squirrel.

What caused the squirrel to bite her, you ask?

Well it seems that the patient was in the park and saw the squirrel “limping.” So the patient scooped it up in her handbag and brought it home with her so that she could help the squirrel recuperate.

After further examination, the patient apparently thought the squirrel had broken its leg, so she wanted to fix it.

First, she gave the squirrel some Benadryl to sedate it. Never did figure out how she got the squirrel to drink the Benadryl. Maybe poured it into an acorn?

Then she tried to make a splint out of Popsicle sticks to tape to the squirrel’s leg. The squirrel wanted no part of it. The feeling of popsicle sticks being taped to his leg woke him from his slumber and was not appealing to him, so he bit the patient several times on the hand.

At that point, the woman dropped the squirrel and came to the emergency department. Said squirrel probably then limped to the fridge, got a beer and sat down to watch the Cubs lose again.

Frankly, if someone doused my head in Benadryl and then tried to tape a couple of sticks to my legs, I’d bite her, too.


  1. LOL…this post is making me shake my head! You just can’t make this stuff up sometimes! Well, I’m hoping the beer and Cubs part isn’t real. Wasn’t it the Indians or Pirates he put on to watch lose again? Not much baseball excitement here in these parts…

    Thanks for the morning crack-up.


  2. Grrreat post! We had an”accidental” pet squirrel for several months one winter. He took over the computer room and we had a great time. The first time he landed on my head it scared me after that, it was hilarious! πŸ™‚ He never bit…and, the Eastern Grey Squirrel does not carry rabies. Miss you, Lennie! (Named after my favotite “Law and Order” charater…miss you too, Lennie!)

      • According to the CDC,
        “Rodents are not reservoirs of rabies virus. Small rodents (e.g., squirrels, chipmunks, rats, mice, hamsters, guinea pigs, and gerbils) and lagomorphs (including rabbits and hares) are rarely infected with rabies and have not been known to transmit rabies to humans”
        Don’t know much credibility to attach to this statement, but I’m not too worried about seeing a crazy rabid squirrel any time soon (“Over the Hedge” fans, anyone?).

  3. Too much Disney in our lives…taking wild rodents into the house to “care” for them. There’s a local couple who are being kicked out of their rental house, and they were on the five o’clock news boo-hooing because their “animal shelter” is going to close down. They’ve got freaking RACOONS in the “shelter”–not hurt, not injured, just “we found him in the street and brought him home”.

  4. At least she didn’t bring it with her to the ED.

    /happened a couple of times with various mice/rats/snakes (usually dead)
    //”No ma’am, we can’t test the animal for rabies here.”

    • Then the squirrel would have escaped in the room and hobbled through the department terrorizing old ladies.
      I would have videotaped that one and posted it on YouTube.

  5. Its one of those stories where you laugh and shake your head at the same time. You’d think somewhere between the benadryl and popsicle stick she would think “hmm if other people saw me doing this would they think it was weird?”

  6. Okay guys …you know any respectable squirrel is gonna turn on the Yankees. πŸ˜‰

    Great post!

    I didn’t think she was weird, but wondering if aside for her apparent love of animals, she has some kind of 1st aid training that caused her to think she could help. Except how much Benadryl do you give a sqirrel. Tilt head back, squeeze his little nut filled cheeks to open mouth and make him chug-a-lug what she drops in. (If that was my 4 yr old son – he’d instantly spit it back out over everything and her)

    My girlfriend used to feed nuts to a squirrel that always came up on her deck. Then she began letting him in the kitchen…until I told her they could possibly carry rabies.

    I thought any animal bitten by or exposed to a rabid animal’s saliva was at risk for catching rabies. ??? Did she get the rabies series?

    We had a patient come into ED once that had hit a deer with her car. She got out to check on it but got too close and gave her a significant laceration on her forearm. Deer have razor sharp hooves.

    I would’ve wanted to rescue the dog, but it seems that would’ve been a bad idea at the moment. Or when she left ..instead of filming ran to the dog.

    article – Buck Bites Back:

    “Maybe poured it into an acorn?” FUNNY! Love the image. πŸ™‚

  7. The fleas that infest wild squirrels are often vectors for the organism that causes Bubonic Plague. Isn’t that a bigger risk than Rabis?

    • OMGOSH! πŸ™‚

      I have to get that book ..3 to be specific. 1 for each of my son’s for Christmas and one for me. We are major Gary Larson fans.

      We used to read his cartoons in the ED and hang some up for all to see. I even have a pic of one of ED docs reading a big Gary Larson cartoon book. πŸ™‚

      I LOVED the intro to the book. (I can relate πŸ˜‰

      Thanks for sharing that Rinna! πŸ™‚

      PS One of my favorite cartoons (so many) was “The Spitting Cobras Sitting at Home”.

      There they were in there Gary Larson anywhere in America living room sitting in easy chairs ..looking like Mr and Mrs middle aged cobras, enjoying their cozy room. I think he was reading (forget now), but spittle was all over the walls. etc. It may not sound as funny, but I thing Gary Larson was gifted in how he had animals and insects in human situations. His cartoons would crack me up even if he didn’t have captions. But the captions were the icing on the cake.

      I saw him being interviewed years ago on 20-20 and he was asked about where his ideas come from. he said when he was a kid, his brother used to lock him in the basement and he’d imagine all kinds of things. I don’t know if that is true or he was joking ..but interesting. πŸ™‚

  8. ….the rest of the story…one of our dogs caught the squirell when it was a baby…we tried to turn it lose in the neighbors yard, but it “came back”…it was nearing winter…we let him stay until he was old enough to live in the wild on his own…opened the window one spring day and out he went on to the ledge…where we continued to feed all the squirrells and birds…

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