Christmas Light Police


One of our neighbors with nothing better to do left a note taped to our front door chastising us because the lights on our trees lining the road we live on weren’t lit when he happened to walk by our house. The thing is that we usually have the trees lit, but we just happened to use the extension cord to power the air pump to pump up a flat tire that afternoon and forgot to re-attach the power cord to the tree lights.

I have a pretty good idea of who it was, and I was going to write “your perineum” after the first line and stick it in his mailbox, but that wouldn’t be in keeping with the Christmas spirit, would it?

Ho ho ho.



  1. I lived in the suburbs of Chicago…Downer’s Grove. I had a neighbor from hell…she reported me to the village because of something as silly as your neighbor’s complaint and I still shoveled her driveway because she was 80. I felt like I should give her a Maxine robe and slippers and a catchy sign to suit her misery. Like you, for 27 days of snow…I ho-ho-hoed and Merry Christmas-ed her to death…

  2. Weird. Kind of funny ..but chastising – way out of line. So …you must have a well lit up neighborhood? Must be very pretty.

    How did he know something wasn’t wrong?

    Reminds me of that comedy movie/book – the Kranks. They were sad because their daughter wouldn’t be home for Christmas and decided not to celebrate Christmas… instead were going to sneak off on a trip. But ..they were the ones that had the traditional neighborhood party. They all put Frosty the snowman on their roof, bough trees and there were all these neighborhood holiday traditions. As word got out …you’d think they were committing the unpardonable sin and it became quite funny. Then the daughter was going to be home after all – in 12 hrs and the mad rush to decorate, etc. if you haven’t seen it check out this link for the trailer:

    I have it and now want to see it again. 🙂

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