Dear Diary


I’ve had an interesting couple of weeks.

My trusty Palm Pre died on me after a good few years. When I brought it to the customer service center, the whippersnapper working there said “Whoa! That’s an old phone!” Thanks. Amazing how something that was so “cutting edge” a few years ago is now pretty much a piece of garbage. So I upgraded to the brand new Samsung Galaxy S3 and its Android tracking, er, um operating system. As soon as you activate the phone, you have to agree to allow a bunch of programs the ability to access your contact list, identity, phone calls, and location just to get the phone to work. You can’t remove the programs from your phone and you can’t limit their access. So then I researched a bunch of programs that would prevent other programs from accessing my information. And I installed a program that makes my GPS think I’m wherever I program it to be. Currently, I’m in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico.
Overall, I have to admit that the phone is pretty nice. Screen is amazing. I can dictate text directly into the phone. Can do video chats with the kids. Can even control my computer at home from the screen on the phone. Kind of a learning curve on some of the programs, though. I’ll probably put up a few posts regarding my versions of the “best” Android programs to have on your phone.

Speaking about phones, I saw someone pushing the envelope with cell phone etiquette at a restaurant recently. It’s not just that the person’s cell phone was turned on. It’s not that the cell phone was out on the table. The person actually brought a stand to set the cell phone on during dinner so that she didn’t miss that ever important text message (the picture was taken from across a restaurant, so don’t give me grief).

Dogs are doing great. Had fun at the park the other day digging into the woodchips on the playground until someone yelled at me through the trees that they were “destroying” the playground. Destroying wood chips. Right. I was going to squat over one of the holes and smile at him, but figured that all that would do is get me arrested. Yes, I filled in the holes. I always fill in the holes.

Went out with Mrs. WhiteCoat to a wine tasting event over the weekend. Had lots of fun and didn’t even purchase a bottle of wine. Met a guy who appeared intoxicated. We talked for a while and then he had to leave. He was driving. Offered to get him a cab, but he lived 40 miles away. Thought about calling the police, but then if he wasn’t drunk, I’d look like a jerk. Besides, he’d surely be gone by the time they got there and I had no idea what route he would be taking. So I watched him leave the event and wondered if I should have gotten physical with a stranger to keep him from driving. Then I wondered how I’d feel if he hit and killed someone. The whole situation bothered me the rest of the night.
I got home and began brushing my teeth before bed. The toothpaste tasted funny. That was because it was my daughter’s facial moisturizer. Hey – it was dark and the tubes are almost exactly the same size. She’s lucky that she’s not grounded for … summer … for leaving that stuff in my drawer.

For the past few days we’ve been dealing with another problem. The air conditioner broke and it’s 105 degrees outside. What did people do before air conditioning? No one was available to come and look at the problem until the next day, so we had to use fans to keep us cool. That didn’t work well. Dogs were up pacing and panting all night. Even thought the windows were open, it was still 90 degrees inside. Didn’t want to go buy a window air conditioner for one night, so we slept in the heat. Woke up in a pool of sweat. At least I think it was sweat.
The AC repair guy came out and told us that he was working 18 hour days during the heat wave. Apparently if there are large fluctuations in voltage, the capacitors in the AC units burn out. He’s been replacing them all week. Replaced our capacitor and the AC kicked back into action … for about six hours … then it went dead again. Now we have to replace the whole AC unit. Grrrreat. However, he said that a lot of people get scammed into purchasing a new AC unit when all that is wrong is the capacitor. You all can learn from our experiences, though. If you have central air that goes out on you, check the capacitor first. Literally takes 15 minutes to replace. Our system … that’s another story.

Kids have been auditioning for several movies and commercials. A couple of them are going to be on a national talk show in the near future. During one audition, they asked Mrs. WhiteCoat to audition for another part. She shows them my picture and they want me to audition. Now both of us may be extras on a television series. I keep telling Mrs. WhiteCoat that we need to be thinking more about the rocks.


  1. Oh, WhiteCoat, tricking your GPS program is not going to keep your cell phone from tracking you!

    Your phone has to be able to send (accurate) information on your whereabouts to the E911 system. You can’t change that by changing the GPS setting.

    And even if you have a very old, very cheap phone that’s not equipped for E911, your cellphone can tell approximately where you are by what cell towers it finds nearby. You can’t fool it, and the police can probably get a court order to obtain your whereabouts.

    The only way to protect yourself from cellphone tracking is to turn the phone off. NEVER carry your cellphone when you’re at the crime scene or in the getaway car! In fact, if your alibi is going to be that you were in a bar at the time the crime was committed or you were home in bed all night, your lawyer will love you if you leave your cellphone, turned on, at the bar or in your bedroom while you commit the crime. He won’t even have to contact the phone company to get the records; the DA will do that for him!

Leave A Reply