More Unique Chief Complaints


The unique chief complaints keep coming. Maybe this should be a monthly topic …

  • The top and bottom half of my body are mismatched. No stroke. No weakness. No pain. Just “mismatched.”
  • Patient was discharged from hospital 12 hours ago for alcohol intoxication, unable to get into mother’s house because she has key and she’s at work. When informed that nothing could be done from the ED about a missing house key, stated he may feel like hurting himself if he can’t get into his mother’s home soon.
  • 19 year old healthy-appearing female who had pain with urination and was diagnosed with a UTI in doctor’s office. Sent to ED for IV antibiotics.
  • 26 year old fell off couch 1 week ago while sleeping. Was “paralyzed” by pain and just able to get up off of floor today. Walked to ED. Needs pain medications and a work note for past week.
  • Green ear wax for 3 days.
  • Right buttock hurts when sits with legs crossed … for the past year.
  • A spider bit my penis in three places. This same thing happened before and I knew it was a spider because I saw fang marks. This time I just think it was a spider because I can’t find the fang marks.


This and all posts about patients may be fictional, may be my experiences, may be submitted by readers for publication here, or may be any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. If you would like to have a patient story published on WhiteCoat’s Call Room, please e-mail me.


  1. WC looking perplexed while studying “mismatched” patient, “You know …I did see a patient earlier that also appeared mismatched …and I think the lower half would match your upper …hmmm”

    Reversing that a bit, you could say, “If I sat for a whole year with my legs crossed …my r buttock would hurt too. Now if only sitting 6 months – not so much.” 😉

Leave A Reply