The House Abuser


Never finished describing what happened when we got back from our vacation … three weeks ago. Dang does time fly.

When we walked in the house, the first thing we noticed was that it smelled like cleaning products. There were a mop and a bucket sitting in the wet room by the garage.
The fishtank in the kitchen was a ruddy brown color. We could barely see the fish. One fish was floating. Half of a large can of fish food that we had just bought was gone.
Instead of coming home to relax, we came home to a CSI scene. We began to explore further.

One of the things that I noticed was that our coat rack had been moved. It was sitting to directly block the view through the windows by the front door. I also noticed that there was a piece of tape over the side of the kitchen window. Our neighbors told us that all the window shades were pulled. Our kitchen window doesn’t have a shade. I’m sure that something was taped over it.
Two of our security cameras were unplugged and the third one was pointed at the ceiling.
Something big happened here.

We paid the kid to walk the dogs. We were gone for more than a week. We had just purchased a package of doggie doo bags before we left and we had put a brand new roll in the holder on one dog’s chain. Not one bag had been used.
The girls came down from their rooms upset.
“Someone went through my drawers and messed my clothing all up.”
“Someone rearranged all the clothes in my closet.”

We went downstairs. There was a hole in the wall from one of the legs of a bar stool. The house abuser had said that one of the dogs knocked the chair over while playing catch with a tennis ball. The angle of the hole made it clear that the trajectory of the chair was from up to down – as if someone was holding the seat and forcing the chair downward. An Ansel Adams print hanging on the wall had the glass broken.

There was a run in the seam of the basement carpet and the carpet had been unraveled. Looking closer, there was a stain on the carpet all around the seam. A pair of my youngest daughter’s underwear was hanging off the barbell sitting on my weight bench.

We called the kid’s mother. She brought her son over to see what we were so upset about.

I brought him down in the basement and asked him what happened. He stuck to his story. The dog knocked over the stool and put the hole in the wall. I asked him about the stain on the carpet. The dog urinated on the spot. He cleaned it and then the other dog urinated there again. I told him it seemed that he spent an awful lot of time cleaning. He said that he just wanted us to come home to a clean house.
Like we left the house in that much of a mess?

Oh, and he was concerned about the Ansel Adams print.
“Was that cracked already? Sometimes I get clumsy and don’t remember falling into things.”
“Yeah, it was broken when my son’s friend whacked it with a baseball.”
“OK, good. I mean I’m glad that I didn’t break it.”

We walked back upstairs. It was then that I heard house abuser’s mom tell Mrs. WhiteCoat that we were overreacting. After all, there couldn’t have been that many kids over and if we had just called her, she would have taken care of it.


The next two days at home were spent cleaning up the house that our house abuser had so thoughtfully cleaned for us. We also tried to taken an inventory of the things around the house to make sure that nothing was missing. The only other thing I noticed was that the house abuser cleaned out most of the soda and all of the Red Bulls in the refrigerator in my garage. However, there wasn’t a single can in the garbage or in the recycling bin. Why was that? We soon found out.

The following day, Daughter WhiteCoat banged her head on a dresser and I went to the freezer to get an ice pack. The house abuser just got busted. A bottle of whiskey was buried in the ice maker. And we don’t drink whiskey. A little while later, my son brought up a “Rolling Rock” bottle cap that was in the seat cushion of his official Xbox 360 chair.

This weasel and his buddies were boozing it up in our house while we were gone.

House abuser’s school has a policy that all athletes must sign. Get caught with alcohol or get caught at a party where there’s alcohol and you’re off the team instantly.

We called back his mother and asked her if she wanted to come and pick up his whiskey and beer cap or if we should just drop it off at the school for him.

Thirty minutes later, he was ringing our doorbell. When we opened the door, his dad threw him inside by the scruff of his neck.

His first words were “I want you to know that I’ve lost everything.”

Never really got around to saying he was sorry. Never really admitted having a party. Just said that some of his “so called friends” took advantage of him and were drinking here when he wasn’t watching.

His dad said that he had “misgivings” about letting him watch the house and that junior let him down again.

Would have been nice to know about that before we gave junior the keys.

We were still going to go to the school about the alcohol, but figured that we’d let things go and move on with our lives.

And for the first time in three weeks, we can see through the fish tank again.

Next time we leave, we’re taking the dogs with us.


  1. Whoa…that is damn crazy and very disappointing. What a horrible way to come home. I hope you drastically reduced what you were going to pay him to compensate for the damage and the food he stole, the fish he killed, the people he allowed in your house, the piss poor job he did in general…on second thought, I hope you didn’t pay him anything.

  2. Your experience scares the hell out of me. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you to go through it. I live in a neighborhood “in transition”, and my husband and I have given a lot of thought to how we would handle the care of our dog and four cats.

    Our only answer seems to be have a house sitter, because, honestly, I hate the idea of leaving the house empty and a target for thieves.

    Your story makes me concerned, though–I don’t know what the answer is.

  3. Responsibility–

    If you can stomach any more interaction with the little bastard, I’d offer to accept an apology letter/self criticism and parent-supervised “community service” in exchange for NOT going to the school to inform them about his drinking behaviors.

    Not sure where you are from, but surely there is something he could do to “help out”…. You would be doing a service for the world that is likely going to have to deal with his utter lack of responsibility for the next fifty years until he mans up!

  4. And this kid came WITH recommendations? Definitely take the dogs with you next time, or pay a bonded professional. It’d be cheaper.


  5. Next time before you leave, tell whoever that you have hidden cameras in the house and if they try to find them or do anything other than walk the dogs, they won’t get paid and you’ll show their parents the video.

    Come on WC, you gotta out smart them.

  6. Congratulations. You’ve just shown some dipshit that if he acts up, all he has to do is Be Real Sorry (again) and this his friends under the bus and he’ll get out of it with nothing more than a scolding.

  7. Okay, I’m confused, did someone do an upper decker on the fish tank a pervie child-molester warning-sign panty raid on your elementary-school daughter? Freakin’ creepy, dude. :-/

  8. WC
    Can’t imagine how pissed you were. My husband saw some kids from a private school nearby throwing their fast food lunch litter out the back of a pick-up and was incensed enough to call the principal. The kids showed up at my husband’s place of business and apologized. The Principal took away the lunch privilege and put them on trash duty. Do you still have that whiskey bottle? 🙂

  9. We had a less-than-stellar experience with a petsitter (NOTHING like this though) and subsequently came up with an approach that worked well: ask your vet if any of their vet techs do petsitting on the side. Or the vet office may have a list of local petsitters with good reputations. The tech we got was outstanding–adult and professional, thrilled to have the extra cash, and of course happy to play with the pets (they’re a lot more fun when they’re not sick).

  10. I think what happened was that the jerk realized he hadn’t fed the fish for like a week, and one of them was dead, so he dumped half the can of fish food in the tank thinking that would solve everything.

  11. Mom who doesn't put up with bad behavior on

    Sorry I totally disagree, you should report his alcohol party to the school. He didn’t even apologize just complain that he lost everything and try to shift the blame to his “friends”. Clearly mom knew that he had “not that many kids” over the house. He violated your daughters’ privacy (really? removing her UNDERWEAR from her drawer?) killed your fish. Destroyed your property. The little brat would be reported to the school for zero tolerance for the alcohol violation, and I’d work with dad to make arrangements for junior to not only pay back what you originally paid him but ALSO a written apology to you and your children (especially your daughters) and either cash or work payment for all the damage done.

    By accepting his half-a@#$ shifting of responsibility is only encouraging this sociopathic behavior pattern. AND it sends a poor message to your OWN children.

    Something to think about.

  12. The booze party and damage to your house is bad enough, but I’m really disturbed by the fact that he went through your kids’ stuff and that a pair of your youngest’s underwear was out on display. That is really creepy and concerning.

  13. This ended up as about a $1500 learning experience for us.

    One of our biggest lessons in this ordeal was the old saying “never work with family or close friends.” The kid was a relative of one of our closest friends. It’s easy to say that our friend would understand if we pressed criminal charges and got the kid’s scholarship revoked, but easier said than done. Our friendship means more than the $1500.

    Jamie has the approach that we’ll use in the future – if we ever leave anywhere without the animals. Our vet mentioned this to us as she was treating our puppy for possible bowel blockage after we got home. Long story.

    Am absolutely investing in a few hidden cameras.

    And I’m not sure whether or not this kid was the one who was digging through my daughter’s drawers, so I can’t confirm who the perv is. All I know is that those underwear were promptly put in the garbage.

    On the bright side of things, we do get to keep finding little surprises all over the house. This week we found a bunch of maxi pads, a “Beer Pong Ball University” ping pong ball, a partially-used tube of Abreva, and two more beer bottle caps.

    • I wouldn’t want to see his scholarship revoked, because that could affect his whole future and hopefully he won’t always be a jerk.

      But certainly a close friend would understand the kid would have to work off the damages. ? It wouldn’t hurt to have the kid worried if he didn’t ..he would be reported. And he should also know that even if his friends did do most of it and he didn’t know all of it when happening …HE was the one who initiated it with the invite to party. It all comes back to him.


    I got news for you, dude, if the guy’s dad is any kind of friend he’d be right there beside you when you walked into the office to nail his kid’s ass to the wall. If he decides to Not Be Your Friend after this kind of crap went down, then he’s a friend you didn’t need to have. Man the *fuck* up.

  15. I had a 45 year old house-sitter who stole checks and forged one for $1500.00. She used it for a drinking spree and showed up in the ED on my shift with dt’s and exac. of alcoholic liver disease. I wish I’d done a better job of screening…I’m now painfully more aware that not all alcoholics are easy to spot.

    Oh, and I never got the money back, nor did she ever pay for her ER visit.

  16. Liar, liar ..pants on fire! Did he burst into flames in front of you?

    I haven’t read the comments yet as just wanted to share my thoughts first.

    I am so sorry that happened to all of you. What an awful feeling of violation and privacy invasion it must’ve been. particularly the girl’s clothing and the panties of younger one. That would really anger me. YUK. Just thinking they went thru those things. I’m sorry about your fish and fish tank and all the other things.

    That woman is obviously not a friend or a good one anyway. I do not respect her at all. Overreacting??? See how she feels if it happened to her. To not acknowledge why you would be upset, or that her son behaved irresponsibly is so irresponsible and disingenuous on her part. Terrible parenting! In a way …I’d be more angry with her for her attitude/lack of appropriate response. Apparently the apple didn’t fall far from the tree with sense of accountability.

    If that had been one of our sons (It would not)- oh boy …they would be held so accountable. They would be apologizing,and backing it up with having to help clean up …maybe even do some additional work for free if you would have him and pay for damages. And ..I would want the name of the so called friends and they would be hearing from me too.

    I think a lot of us may’ve made poor choices when we were younger, but destruction of someone’s property, etc., is crossing the line. He made a bad decision and should be taught there are consequences. I believe in mercy, forgiveness and second chances …except he was more worried about HIS loss than the emotional harm and destruction of your property and subsequent cost.

    And …I would hate to see them get kicked off a team because it’s good to be involved in sports and not partying it up all the time …but some things have to be earned. He broke trust, was inconsiderate and disrespectful and selfish and a liar. What were his consequences? and I don’t mean with his family. He should be accountable to you and your wife… so that perhaps he learns a lesson in empathy, and respect. And I don’t mean to be punitive …but to hopefully experience remorse and learn a valuable life lesson. People do stupid things sometimes and doesn’t mean they are bad people.. but, made bad choices …maybe actually end up appreciating the opportunity to make up for it. But ..that would have to be a collaborative effort between adults. I’m guessing you all don’t ever want to them again.

    You said, “His dad said that he had “misgivings” about letting him watch the house and that junior let him down again.” I did feel concern when dad commented “let him down again.” Seems like he has a mother who sugar coats and possibly a dad who berates …which kills spirit and can cause kids to live up to their label. Of course I have no idea and you can have the best parents and kids can still go off track.

    Who recommended them?

    Again, sorry that all happened and a shame you even had to have any concern/worry while you were away on holiday.

    I may’ve mentioned it here some time in past ..but years ago ..when there was this kids show on tv in which kids had to race through some house and trash it to win, etc …some little kids (9yrs old), broke into a coworkers home when they were out for the night. They came back to a house destroyed to the tune of 40,000.00 and this was back in the early to mid 90s – not sure exactly. But 40,000.00 back then mean t a lot more than it does now. the insurance company covered it, but said if they ever put in another claim, they would be dropped. the parents never even apologized or had the kids do clean up, etc.

  17. the kid’s mother knew he was having parties at your house but never checked as to what was going on? then told your wife she was over-reacting?

    you should have taken pictures of all the damage, written up a bill of damages and given it to the thug’s parents.

    since they are irresponsible parents they will not pay it, so take them and the damage fotos to small claims court.

    take the whiskey bottle to his school principal and request the sports coach be there, explain what happened and show them the damage pictures.

    by doing nothing you just taught the kid he got away with bad behavior yet again.

    discuss this with all your social circle so they know never to trust this kid with anything again.

    if you lose the ‘friends’ who reccomended this thug, you are now ahead of the game since they can’t be trusted…

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