First, it was a patella fracture.
Then, it was a hip fracture.
Now, it was an open ankle fracture.
What was the common theme running through all of the fractures? The orthopedist’s favorite footwear: Flip flops.
The first patient’s flip flop caught on a curb and caused her to hit the concrete full force with her knee.
The second patient’s flip flop broke while she was trying to run to catch the bus. She got an ambulance ride instead.
The third patient gave herself a “flat tire” when she was running and had a nasty open tib/fib fracture with significant skin loss to her foot.
So, while the orthopedist was miserable because, well … he’s an orthopedist … the misfortune of others who take their chances wearing flip flops was sure keeping his practice busy. OK, OK, I’m kidding about orthopedists being miserable. Some of my
most miserable best friends are orthopedists. Don’t go posting this to some orthopedics message board and start a flame war.
Remember, gentle readers, that if you absolutely must wear this flimsy footwear of horror, they don’t support your feet, they aren’t well-attached to your feet, and they aren’t running shoes. Walk slowly, don’t run in them, and don’t wear them out to the bars.
By the way, the maxillofacial surgeon on call for the day wasn’t quite as upset. I only had to call him once for a patient who had a blowout fracture of the orbit because of a face plant onto the asphalt while wearing flip-flops. I think that may have been more related to the large amount of alcohol he consumed immediately prior to said face plant, though.
Be sure to tune in next time as I discuss the orthopedist’s favorite piece of play equipment: The Trampoline.
This and all posts about patients may be fictional, may be my experiences, may be submitted by readers for publication here, or may be any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. If you would like to have a patient story published on WhiteCoat’s Call Room, please e-mail me.