Zofran Moment


A 52 year old intoxicated lady gets brought in by ambulance after getting in a fight with her ex-boyfriend. She had been thoroughly punched and kicked in her face. Both of her eyes were black and blue and were significantly swollen. One eye was swollen shut, the other was open just enough so you could see the subconjunctival hemorrhage about her iris. One of her teeth was knocked out and her breath smelled like someone poured Pabst Blue Ribbon and rotten eggs into someone’s sneaker and then she drank out of it. Literally corrosive.

She went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror and began bawling. “I look like a Star Wars character!” I had to admit that she made a good analogy given her rather impressive blood alcohol level.

Later in the evening, I went to tell her about the results of her CT scan and walked in the room to catch her and her new boyfriend in the midst of a passionate french kiss while laying on the bed. The thought of Wookie breath made me retch.

Can’t you wait until your shuttle takes you back to Naboo, there Chancellor?


  1. I’d want to vomit just seeing she let him anywhere *near* her *ever* *again*! And then kissing him? and French?
    Got anything to go along with the Zofran to protect my eyes from burning out of their sockets if I saw that knowing how he ABUSED her???

  2. No way…. did she actually meet her “new” boyfriend in the ER ?

    I’ve seen it happen, two psych patients get all friendly while waiting in the ER for their MH beds to become available then spend a week in paradise together before deciding they would like to be discharged together when Staff intervenes.

    More often than not it’s the drunks who leave together to carry on their “party” with the new friend.


  3. As bad as it sounds, my hunch is that you really don’t need a hospital if you’re still conscious and lucid. Did you end up doing anything WC that she couldn’t have done at home ie ice pack?

  4. Come on, you can’t tell me in college you did not jump at the offer of making out with a drunk chick? Especially after you downed a few PBR’s?

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