True Love


When your boyfriend gets the smackdown after talking tough in a bar and is later found to have bleeding inside of his brain, it is wonderful that you are at his bedside providing him comfort.

I have to draw the line at jamming your finger up his nose to dig for gold while he’s laying on a backboard, though.

Tissues still work even if someone’s wearing a cervical collar. They were in that box marked “Kleenex” on the counter behind you.

If you get up to greet me, I’m not shaking your hand.

No, not even a fist bump.


  1. You can pick your friends, and you can pick your… aw, who am I kidding? that’s just wrong.
    If it was that bad I would have at least asked for one of those little turkey basters to hose the gunk out without touching it.

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